Holy Hush

I was fortunate enough to be invited to Holy Hush, a seminar on abuse within the church. The church being referred to is not the Adventist Church only but all churches, the wider body of Christ.

Abuse doesn't happen in my church? Well, when you consider the various ways in which abuse is committed, anyone would be pretty hard pressed to say that it doesn't happen in their local congregation let alone the wider body.

Verbal abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, financial abuse, spiritual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse and satanic abuse- you name it and it was discussed. We talked about the various ways in which we rationalise it, make excuses for it and even accept it. Think about the jokes we hear from all manner of comedians about the beatings they received (and that some of us received). We laugh about it and even reminisce about it saying, 'it didn't do us any harm'. The fact is, it has had an impact. The fact, is has left scares, but they are scares that no one ever talks about until an event such as Holy Hush.

Successive generations have beat their children and the consequences of violence are there for all to see. Gun and knife crime aren't just being increasingly reported in the press, they are happening more frequently and when we look at the legacy that has been left for our children, we shouldn't be surprised.

Then we talked about 'little wife', something practiced by married men in some African countries. It is a an unwritten protocol which allows a man to inappropriately touch and to also fondle the breasts of his wife's younger sister. It is done in the name of culture but it can lead to penetrative sex - usually without his wife's knowledge. It is sexual abuse in the name of culture but there are parameters which can be overstepped.

Culture should play no place in our religious practices but all to often it does. Should Pastors and members alike hold on to culture for culture's sake? Isn't God's culture more important? Aren't his expectations more important than the expectations of our cultural group?

It was a busy and long day and there was much to be discussed and some of it was a little lighter in nature. The practice of giving libation to the ancestors in return for their favour was also addressed. All of which is permitted even within Christian religions and is also carried out by church leaders and pastors. What cultural practices will I hold onto while telling members that they need to let go of their old practices, their life of sin and their old self? I hope none.

It is all too easy to point the finger from our hermetically sealed western environments and I had to consider how we too have our challenged within the church. What would you do if a young woman comes before you church board and she is grilled because she is pregnant and not yet married? Would you allow board members to ask her details of where and when she had sex, who she had sex with and, if you would permit such questioning, would you also require that the young man is also questioned? What if the child is stamp the Head Elder or one of one of the Deacons? All things that Systematic Theology, Hebrew or Biblical Studies fail to address and that is why I was fortunate to be at this meeting. It has given me the opportunity to reflect on what might be.

I was grateful to Womaash for puttingon Holy Hush, for allowing churches to come together to discuss abuse, for bringing it out in the open and giving me an opportunity for thinking about what I would need to do when in ministry.

I would be even more pleased for other students to havethe same opportunity to hear what I heard from the mouths of some who were brave enough to stand up and tell their personal stories or rape, sexual and physical abuse. Every ministerial student should consider what they would do and how they would tackle abuse within the church before going into ministry. We all need to be aware of the practices which perpetuate it and we should certainly know where to turn to so that members receive the professional care they need. All ministerial students need to think about how they might have to alter their ministerial practices to challenge beliefs, cultural practices and their own understanding which can inadvertently give rise to abuse.

The final question I will leave you with is, should time be set aside so that Womaash can come here to address the issue before we go offinto our churches in all the different countries which we represent and how best can that be facilitated?

Imagine the impact that it would have!